Usagi's Secret, Usagi's Dilemma
by ic3-qu33n
Summary: Usagi's broken, and she has a secret. She runs away and with help from some friends, she renews her life. However, she returns after 4 years after... What would happent to her? And by the way... this isn't a songng-fic. I just love the songs.
1. UnBreak My Heart

*~*~*~*~*~*

Title: Usagi's Secret, Usagi's Dilemma

Chapter 1: Un-break my heart 

Author: RoYaL aNiMe pRiNcEzz

Author's e-mail: royal_anime_princezz@yahoo.ca

*~*~*~*~*~*

Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon. Naoko Takeuchi does. I also don't own the song.

' ' – dialogue / * * - thoughts 

*~*~*~*~*~*

Usagi just came home from school, and she was alone... That was a good thing. Her parents, along with Shingo, were at their grandma's place in the mountains. It was her 87th birthday and they were celebrating it for a week. But Usagi didn't get to go because she got a 63% on her test.

Earlier, he bumped into Mamoru. She was with Amy and Makoto. She asked what happened between them, and asked if it was because of her meatballs. He said no. She asked what went wrong, he replied that it wasn't just working out between them anymore.

*It's good that they're not here... At least I could do anything I want...* She went to her room and put on Toni Braxton's CD in her player. She skipped the player till it reached song number four. Then it played...

Don't leave me in all this pain

Don't leave out in the rain

Come back and bring back my smile

Come and take these tears away

I need your arms to hold me now

The nights are so unkind

Bring back those nights when you held me beside you

Un-break my heart

Say you'll love me again

Undo this hurt you caused

When you walked out the door

And walked out of my life

Un-cry these tears

I cried so many nights

Un-break my heart

My heart

Take back that sad word goodbye

Bring back the joy to my life

Don't leave me here with these tears

Come and kiss the pain away

I can't forget the day you left

Time is so unkind

And life is so cruel without you here beside me 

Un-break my heart

Say you'll love me again

Undo this hurt you caused

When you walked out the door

And walked out of my life

Un-cry these tears

I cried so many nights

Un-break my heart

My heart

Don't leave me in all this pain

Don't leave me out in the rain

Bring back the nights when I held you beside me

Un-break my heart

Say you'll love me again

Undo this hurt you caused

When you walked out the door

And walked out of my life

Un-cry these tears

I cried so many, many nights

Un-break my heart

Un-break my heart

Come back and say you love me

Un-break my heart

Sweet darling

Without you I just can't go on

Can't go on

After playing the song for about seven times, Usagi fell asleep on her bed... crying.

Unknown to her, Luna was outside the door listening intently at the song.

*She's been in her room ever since that day they broke up. And she's been playing that song over and over again... Maybe I should tell the other scouts about this.*

Luna walked down the stairs and out the door, toward the temple.

*~*~*~*~*~*

When Luna reached the temple, she saw the girls sitting on the ground.

'Girls! I need help!' Luna yelled.

'Luna?! What is it? Is Usagi in trouble?!' Rei asked.

'No, not that. Ever since the break up she and Mamoru had, she's been locking up herself in her room and playing a song over and over and over and over again.'

'What song is that?' Minako inquired.

'I don't really know the song so here,' Luna handed them Usagi's CD. 'I snatched that as I was going out.'

They all went into Rei's room to play the CD.

And so they played it.

Song #1:           When do you go when

                        You need good loving...

'No, that's not it.'

Song #2:           I'll always think of you

                        Inside my private thoughts...

'No, that's still not it.'

Song #3:           There's no me without you

                        There's no meaning to my life without you...

'That's still not it.' Luna said.

'Are you sure it's in this CD, Luna?' Amy inquired. 

'Positive. Maybe it's the next song.' Makoto replied.

Song #4:           Don't leave me in all this pain

                        Don't leave out in the rain...

'That's it!'

'SSHHH!' The girls hissed.

'Sorry...' Luna apologized.

And so, the song continued to play...

Come back and bring back my smile

Come and take these tears away

I need your arms to hold me now

The nights are so unkind

Bring back those nights when you held me beside you

Un-break my heart

Say you'll love me again

Undo this hurt you caused

When you walked out the door

And walked out of my life

Un-cry these tears

I cried so many nights

Un-break my heart

My heart

Take back that sad word goodbye

Bring back the joy to my life

Don't leave me here with these tears

Come and kiss the pain away

I can't forget the day you left

Time is so unkind

And life is so cruel without you here beside me 

Un-break my heart

Say you'll love me again

Undo this hurt you caused

When you walked out the door

And walked out of my life

Un-cry these tears

I cried so many nights

Un-break my heart

My heart

Don't leave me in all this pain

Don't leave me out in the rain

Bring back the nights when I held you beside me

Un-break my heart

Say you'll love me again

Undo this hurt you caused

When you walked out the door

And walked out of my life

Un-cry these tears

I cried so many, many nights

Un-break my heart

Un-break my heart

Come back and say you love me

Un-break my heart

Sweet darling

Without you I just can't go on

Can't go on

When the song ended, there was a long pause.

'I didn't know that Usagi could be this... emotional.' Rei sniffed, holding back her tears.

'We should do something about it, girls!' Minako exclaimed.

'Yeah! Let's make a plan to get them back together again!' Amy replied.

'Do we all agree to this?' Artemis asked.

'Yeah!'

*~*~*~*~*~*

Meanwhile...

'Huh?' Usagi rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. 'Where's my CD?' She asked apparently to no one. 'I'll just look for it later.'

She looked wout her window and looked at the gleaming sunset.

'It's so beautiful... I wonder if I'd be able to watch the sunset again with Mamoru...'

*I can't go on like this forever... I thought we were destined to fall in love and rule the future?... What happened? I can't go on another day, hiding a secret that I can't take care of... I wish... I wish that night never happened...*

Then, she cried. 

'Why did it have to be this way?! Why do I have to suffer?! Why do I have to hide a secret that everyone has a right to know?!?! Why?! Why am I so afraid that I'll be torn, broken, and be thrown away?! Wait, I'm mistaken... I am already torn... I'm already broken...' 

Usagi just cried and cried on her bed till she fell asleep again.

She was indeed torn... The only person whom she felt was the only person who would care for her for all eternity... destroyed her. And that person was... Mamoru.

*~*~*~*~*~*

What do you think? Is it good? Don't forget to review! Thank you for reading and Ja ne!

*~*~*~*~*~*


	2. Losing Grip

*~*~*~*~*~*

Title: Usagi's Secret, Usagi's Dilemma

Chapter 2: Losing Grip

Author: RoYaL aNiMe pRiNcEzz

Author's e-mail: royal_anime_princezz@yahoo.ca

*~*~*~*~*~*

Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon. Naoko Takeuchi does. The song was sung by Avril Lavigne. 

' ' – dialogue / * * - thoughts / *-* song 

*~*~*~*~*~*

Two days have past and the girls have already formed out their plan. They were waiting for Luna to bring Usagi to the temple. Mamoru was already there and it took Artemis and four angry girls before he managed to come to the temple.

After what seemed like half an hour, Luna came and she was out of breath. Everyone thought that it was because that she was excited that Usagi and Mamoru would have another chance... But it was something else.

'Girls! Call an ambulance! And make it quick!' Luna managed to scream even though she was out of breath.

'Luna? What's wrong now?' Amy was worried.

'It's... Usagi...' Luna huffed and puffed.

'What happened to Usagi?!?!' Mamoru exclaimed.

'She... cut... herself...'

'WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?' 

They ran down the stairs and as they were doing this, they transformed so that they could get to Usagi much faster.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Earlier, Usagi was laying in her bed and was listening to Avril Lavigne's song...

*-*

Are you aware of what

You make me feel, baby

Right now I feel invisible to you

Like I'm not real

Didn't you feel me lock 

My arms around you

Why'd you turn away

Here's what I have to say 

*-*

*How could you do this to me Mamoru?...*

*-*

I was left to cry there

Waiting outside there

Grinning with a lost stare

That's when I decided

*-*

Usagi went into her bathroom and opened the drawer. She found a blade and took it in her hand.

*-*

Why should I care

Coz you weren't there

When I was scared

I was so alone

You, you need to listen

I'm starting to trip

I'm losing my grip

And I'm in this thing alone

*-*

She sat on her bed, grabbed a piece of paper and pen from her table, and began to write:

To all those I love...

*-*

Am I just some chick

You placed beside you

To take somebody's place

When you turn around

Can you recognize my face

You used to love me

You used to hug me

But that wasn't the case

Everything wasn't okay

*-*

Mom, Dad, Shingo... I'm sorry if sometimes I'm so immature, I hope you know how much I love you...

*-*

I was left to cry there

Waiting outside there

Grinning with a lost stare

That's when I decided

*-*

Luna, Artemis, take care of Diana okay?

*-*

Why should I care

Coz you weren't there

When I was scared

I was so alone

You need to listen

I'm starting to trip

I'm losing my grip

And I'm in this thing alone

*-*

Rei, Amy, Minako, Makoto... You're the best friends any person could ever have. I'm glad that you became my friends.

*-*

Crying out loud

I'm crying out loud

Crying out loud

I'm crying out loud

Open your eyes

Open up wide

*-*

Mamoru... I love you...

*-*

Why should I care

Coz you weren't there

When I was scared

I was so alone

*-*

She folded the paper and slipped it into an envelope. She labeled the letter, To: Everyone I love. She grabbed the blade and pressed it into her fingers.

*-*

Why should I care

If you don't care

Then I don't care

We're not going anywhere

*-*

Her blood flowed from her fingers, and she let it drip on her letter, and onto her sheets. 

*-*

Why should I care

Coz you weren't there

When I was scared

I was so alone

*-*

She then positioned the blade on her wrist and began to press it on her skin.

*-*

Why should I care

If you don't care

Then I don't

And we're not going anywhere

*-*

'Forgive me...' Usagi whispered.

She drew her final breath and whispered, 'I love you Mamoru... Forgive me... Chibiusa...'.

Then, she glided the blade on her skin and she fell on her bed...

*~*~*~*~*~*

Mwahahahahaha! Am I evil or what?! ^_^ Anyway, please review!

*~*~*~*~*~*


	3. Please Keep It A Secret

*~*~*~*~*~*

Title: Usagi's Secret, Usagi's Dilemma

Chapter 3: Please... Keep It A Secret

Author: RoYaL aNiMe pRiNcEzz

Author's e-mail: royal_anime_princezz@yahoo.ca

*~*~*~*~*~*

Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon. Naoko Takeuchi does. 

  
' ' – dialogue / * * - thoughts / *-* song 

*~*~*~*~*~*

The Scouts and Tuxedo Kamen arrived at Usagi's place within fifteen minutes. They untransformed and ran hurriedly to Usagi's room.

When they got inside, they found her on the bed, bleeding.

'Usagi!!!' Mamoru yelled in grief.

'This is all my fault!' He sped to her side and cradled her in his arms.

'I'm sorry... Please forgive me...' He whispered in her ear.

'We have no time! We need to get her to a hospital!' Amy exclaimed wildly.

'You're right!' 

They called 911 and the ambulance came in five minutes. Mamoru went with the ambulance and the girls agreed to meet at the hospital.

*~*~*~*~*~*

At the hospital...

'Please fill up this form.' The nurse gave Mamoru a document.

He filled up the things he knew. But when it comes to the phrase "RELATIONSHIP TO PATIENT", he didn't know what to put. He just gave it back to the nurse and said that he was JUST A FRIEND.

'Please wait here. I'll call you when the doctors have finished up on her.'

'Thank you.'

Mamoru waited for two hours, then the girls came.

'Mamoru! What happened?' Minako asked.

'She's still in the emergency room...'

Just then, a doctor came out of the emergency room.

'How is she?!' 

'Did she survive? 

'Is she alright?'

They all asked him at the same time.

'She's fine. Please follow me to her room. She woke up right after we took care of her. She requests to know what happened.' The doctor explained, removing his mask.

'Okay.'

*~*~*~*~*~*

Usagi was taken to room 678. She was sitting on her bed when someone came in.

'Ah! I see you're still awake.' The doctor said.

'Apparently.' Usagi retorted.

'Well, since we're all here, I think I should now explain. You were taken her by your friends due to what you tried to did to yourself...'

'I know.' She groaned.

The girls and Mamoru were shocked by her actions yet, they kept it to themselves.

'Those are the only things I know... By the way... Don't worry, you're both fine...'

'What do you mean both doctor?' Mamoru was curios.

'Please doctor, we both know that I'm only ONE and not TWO. Right?' Usagi asked the doctor pleadingly.

He immediately understood what she meant and said that he only made a mistake.

'It's okay doc.' Rei replied.

'Since my business is finished here, I better get going.'

After the doctor left, there was a long silence in the room. Then, Usagi spoke up.

'When can I leave?' She asked, looking out the window.

'In about a week and a half.' Makoto replied.

Again, silence.

'Why did you do it, Usagi?' Lunaasked worrieldy.

'It's none of your business.' She said.

'WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT'S NONE OF OUR BUSINESS?!?! USAGI, YOU'RE OUR FRIEND! HOW COULD YOU SAY IT'S NONE OF OUR FUCKING BUSINESS?!' Rei was in rage.

'BECAUSE YOU NEVER KNEW HOW I FELT!!! DO YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL?!?! TELL ME! DO YOU?!'

No one dared to reply at Usagi's statement since they know that she was right.

'DAMN STRAIGHT! NO ONE KNOWS HOW I FEEL! NOW I WANT YOU TO GET OUT AND STAY OUT!'

They looked at her eyes and saw everything. Pain, sorrow, grief... and most of all, betrayal.

Just then, Haruka, Michiru, Setsuna, and Hotaru came in the room.

'Princess! Are you alright?!?!?!' Michiru asked in horror.

'Yes, I'm fine...' Usagi sighed.

'Princess, why did you do it?'

'Haruka, you wouldn't undertsand. No one would understand.' Usagi replied and she sobbed.

'Usagi... It's alright...' Mamoru comforted her and walked toward her, but...

'Don't.' Usagi's voice was stern.

'But Usagi...' Mamoru reasoned.

'Don't Mamoru... Just. Don't. Touch. Me.'

'Fine.' He backed away and stood by the wall.

'Leave me' Usagi commanded.

'Usagi, you might commit suicide again...'

'I said, LEAVE US. Want me to spell it for you? I said us, not me. I need to the outer scouts, now, LEAVE.' She gave them a very daunting glare.

'Alright. We'lll be right outside if you need...' Luna surrendered.  

'Leave.'

The inner scouts along with Mamoru, Luna, and Artemis walked out the room in silence.

'Princess, that's not your usual attitude.' Setsuna demanded an explanation from their Princess.

'I'm sorry...' She sobbed on her knees.

'Princess... What's wrong? You're not like this! You're strong...' Haruka commented.

'I just... I don't want to get hurt anymore. I don't want us to get hurt. I don't want her to feel betrayed in any kind of way. I thought it would be better for the two of us if I would just end it...' Usagi held on Haruka's hand.

'What do you mean by "I don't want her to feel betrayed" Who's "her"?' Michiru asked in curiosity.

'I... I'm pregnant...'

'WHAT?!?!?!' Haruka and Michiru screamed both at the same time.

'Ow...' Usagi covered her ears.

'Sorry.' They apologized.

'I knew this would happen. But it happened to soon.' Setsuna clossed her eyes.

'I know. It just happened! I went to Mamoru's place and we discussed what happened between us, then we made up, then we kissed... Then we...'

'I understand, Princess. But we have to let them know about...'

'NO! Please! I don't want them to know...'

'But Princess!'

'Just no! I'd rather have Hotaru destroy me than live a life with my daughter without her father...' Usagi pleaded. 'I just can't do it alone! I just can't!!!' 

The outer scouts huddled around Usagi and they all gave their Princess an embrace.

'We understand, Princess.'

'What would you want to do then?'

'I want to go away temporarily till I've straightened everything with myself, and with Chibiusa.'

'You do know that we'll be by your side to support you, right?'

'I know... But I don't know about the others. I'm sure that they won't agree.'

They thought of a way to make the others understand but they could only come up with one solution.

'Since they won't agree, there's only one thing we could do.'

'What is it Setsuna?' Hotaru asked.

'We have to get away without them knowing.'

*~*~*~*~*~*

Woohoo! Chapter 3 finished! Please REVIEW!

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